"The most important relationship you have in your life is your relationship with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself."
That statement is so true. You might find yourself attracted to trashbags, associating with trashbags, believing the words and lies of trashbags but your focus should be on treating yourself as you would a friend.
Why are we kinder to our friends and to dooshbags than we are to ourselves?
When Whitney walked away from Jay in the first season of TV series The City, it was a small but meaningful victory for her. In a random way I felt like I could relate to her and her experience.
After I finished uni, I wanted to do things and find what made me happy and productive. Along the way I got caught up with things and involved with people who didn't treat me so well and put up with a lot of shit. I went overseas before all that for two months thinking that an epiphany would occur showing me what I should do but that never came.
One thing I've learnt from my experiences and from others is that epiphanies don't occur when you need or expect them the most. You'll be overseas wandering in a country's cold, tens of thousands of miles away from your family during a time where people are with their families and the things that should occur to you never come. You'll be walking for hours from one place to another by yourself on a long highway from inland to beach, or sitting on a train for 42 hours crossing borders and still have no idea what makes you happy.
Maybe I think too much but maybe I'm expecting to find something or meet someone who will teach me something I don't know about myself.
You have a
vague idea of what you'd like but alot of the time, you're wandering aimlessly or simply killing time waiting for some dawning of knowledge to occur. I have an idea of what I'm somewhat good at but I don't know what makes me happy. I just know that what I'm currently doing isn't that.
I feel like I'm coming full circle. I'm about to embark on another trip overseas with my friends to Bali, to Thailand, to where ever and scared that this epiphany or realisation will never come.
I'm not sure what I expect from this trip but I know if it's escapism I'm looking for that will not be the best thing to hope for.
People travel for different reasons. Some go to seek novel experiences, others to feel uncomfortable and others as a means of escape from the mundanity of their everyday life.
I used to seek the latter thinking that the best thing for someone like me was to leave for a while because there's nothing that really attaches me to this place. But over the past few years I realise that I value my immediate family and friends and the thought of not being around them makes me sad. Life doesn't go on forever so we should spend as much time in the presence of people who we love and love us the most.
So I guess I'm not going overseas for this reason. I think I'm just trying to say timeout from my life.
